2021 Please be nicer to us.

It been a while since I post anything here. Last post was on the end of August. It’s been a busy. S. is relatively well. It is never going to be perfect and it’s OK we are happy if she is steady. Last UTI she had in march this year so it is great result. I remember times when she suffer from Urinary Tract Infections nearly every month with small breaks. So nearly a year of infections free is amazing results. I’m grateful for it.

In case your child is struggling with it – what works for us, it might not work for you. I’m not a doctor, and this blog is my personal thoughts, for medical advice please talk to your doctor.

What keeps S. away from UTI’s and hospital is daily bladder washout with antibiotics.

Apparently this technique was used 20 years ago. I don’t mind if its antient as long as it helps. So we are doing it since August 2019 and it works. Only one or two UTI’s and oral antibiotics since we using washouts. It also means we are safe at home. If we visit hospital it’s for scans and check-ups.

Each year, just before Christmas we drop in to our local children hospital and  bring cards and boxes of chocolates for the nurses, specialist and all wonderful people who look after S. It is the least what we can do for them to say how much we appreciate them, their support. I know that no one expect it but I can’t imagine to missed it. By now it is a tradition. This year we left it very late. We had a tragic time around Christmas as S’s. and her brother beloved Grandma passed away. We lived together and looked after Her until last moments. Very sad time. May she Rest In Peace.

So this year we only get to hospital with bags of chocolates and cards on the  24th of December.

As we left hospital and I get back to car I looked at the man standing beside us. He was weaving to someone. I followed his eyes and realized he is weaving to child in the hospital window. I looked up the window and what I saw shook me up. I felt as if lightning struck me. I lost my breath and couldn’t hold tears. What I saw in that window? Mum and a child who was in tears. Even from the distance you could see the poor child was in distress, face red from crying and screaming. Poor kiddo. I’m writing this week later and the image of it is still super strong. For hours after that and next 3 days each time I thought of it I immediately cried. Why? Because it could have been us. Because It was us exactly year earlier. (To be fair we didn’t end up on the ward but I spend with S. 11 hours in isolation room of Emergency department. It took so long as they need to take bloods to exclude kidney infection, and swabs to confirm it’s influenza. Very stressful – 5 days of fever 41C, not able to get it down). Because I felt the pain of this child and his mum who was right beside him, as it was my own. Because I have been there and done that… many times. Staying in hospital is so stressful. For child but also for carer. Now it must be even harder as due to Covid restrictions only one parent is allowed in hospital with the child. When my husband saw me and followed my eyes and saw this picture that triggered me, just commented “It pushed the right button didn’t it?” It sure did. And I’m sure it will stayed with me, it’s the image that is hard to forget. Very emotional. A lot of strong emotions.

I’m wondering if I would feel as strongly about it if I wouldn’t experience it myself. Maybe once you become mother you are just extra sensitive to child suffer?

This year was so much different to any others. On so many levels. I have a feeling that the fight against Covid isn’t over so I don’t have a high hopes for 2021 but I suppose we will see soon enough.

Most years on this day I have a New Year resolutions – sometimes ambitious (read more books, loose weight), most time not so ambitious, simple (to survive, to be happy). This year I manage to read 70 books but gain 6kg. Plan for next year? Survive, stay healthy, look after myself as much and as great as I care for my family, find time for selfcare (“me time”), read lots books, be happy.

Stay safe. Be kind to yourself

S. Mum

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